NARNIA (Swe): “Long Live the King” CD 1999 Nuclear Blast


Here we have arrived to the worst CD in this issue and probably one of the worse ever in the history of Metal music. I wanted to keep it for last because I really wanted to sort an accurate choice of insults and offences to describe this mass of thick excremental matter shaped into disc. But the music is so bad, so unspeakably intolerable it escapes any definition. An Italian b-level comedy actor some years ago would have described it as “la sintesi della disgrazia, l’apoteosi della schifezza” which would suit them yet too tight. I have no words to explain how thoroughly stupid, nauseating, hilarious, unnerving this music is. To sum it up it’s some cheap Christian Power Metal, yet the worse of the few I had the annoyance to hear. Any offense would me too light to this lowest of nonsense junk, their ineptitude escapes any description from meaningless cover artwork, worst level lyrics, tedious guitar evolutions, faggot vocals makes me wish this band rotting in the the worst of the pits of disgust. When music reaches such abysmal levels of insignificance, I feel not only this band should not exist, but the members which play in it should be either crippled for life, killed or have their relatives die of humiliating long deaths. The worst of the worst. No equals in homosexuality.

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